前天半夜和一个朋友聊了些事。他说他很孤单。说过彷徨。说自己轻微的忧郁。
我说大家都有。
也不是字面上的意思，希望他了解我想表达的是什么。
在乎的事情越来越少，忧伤却越来越多。
那天我在大雨中一手拿着手提式电脑、一手握着雨伞，狼狈地想从身后装满资料的背包里拿出车钥匙。最后我索性把伞放下，淋着雨跑回了车里。我很气，想把电脑和伞都一把丢在路边。然后我想到了其他的事情。
我对他说我也老是觉得自己很孤单，然后发现其实我一直在让爱我的人等。
想起无数次看见的情形，之后更加确定你值得比我更好的家人。
“而且我不相信会有人比我家人更爱我。”
我也经常问自己，I always ask myself what is wrong with me too, and then there is always a million things to list down. I told him many of it are just excuses, excuses we give ourselves to not do something, to avoid receiving the blame for a mistake, or just to have something else to blame when we actually mess up.
I didn't understand the sudden feeling I got, didn't understand why was I so sad. Did I do it because I was sad, or was it because I want to be sad?
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